How about 1 month ago it happened. In one day a simple story made it in the online Wall Street Journal chosen by James Altucher as one of the 9 must read blog. I have to admit, it was a surprise and it shocked me. I got a 1000 hits and I was watching it like a stock increasing its worth in front of my eyes. I was mystified, happy and actually terrified as well.
It reminded very much about the first published writing. It was a surprise too. I was a teen and I was entering Nerinx Hall High School as a junior. I had arrived in the US in 1993 after my French adoptive mother had passed away a year earlier and it was my French adoptive father who suggested I finish my studies in St Louis with this American couple he knew well.
At Nerinx I loved German, History, I loved all my classes and the teachers too. I wasn't used to wear a uniform but got used to it. And the all girls school concept was quite empowering.
One day one my teacher submitted one of my essays in a contest, she never told me. The topic I wrote about was living in France when my mother was still alive. It described the last walk both my Papa and Maman and I had in La Baule Les Pins. I still remember the night of that day and how the trees looked like. My teacher submitted it without telling me and when she heard that I was going to be published she showed me the letter. I was shocked, amazed, excited and absolutely terrified. I think every time that you write, you undress your soul. You make yourself vulnerable.
The excitement is in this shot of power, of recognition that others will read you, it's an incredible rush and then a few days later I started wondering how do I keep this. And I think that's the frightening part, how do you outdo yourself?
Well it happened a month ago for me when I went mute after the Blog and seeing it ... but now I think I still have a lot more to share and what I learned about the past days I went quiet... is that I no longer have to worry being vulnerable to myself that maybe the best articles you read out here are the ones written from the heart and that if you are a bit scared about a successful event, it means you are getting a taste of greatness, and being vulnerable is not being weak but can make you a better writer.
Being a bit afraid after being excited about success is a test of endurance and when you want to be successful it is a necessity to overcome.
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